I'm sorry for being me
by LittleBritainFanatic
Summary: [REGGIE PERRIN] Anthony confides in Reggie and Jasmine after he fears a simple action has ruined his and Steve's friendship.


Reggie Perrin sat at his desk, as usual, trying his hardest to avoid actually doing any work. If fact, he was currently occupying his time by ignoring Chris' instructions to design whatever his latest crap idea was, and instead playing Candy Crush on his new smartphone. It was a boring game, but anything was better than listening to Chris.

Just as Reggie was really getting into a fantasy about poisoning Chris by blocking up his air conditioning and letting him slowly suffocate on the carbon monoxide, he heard a knock at the door. Sighing, Reggie yelled for them to enter without even looking up. He hated visitors.

"Hello, Reggie," Reggie looked up as he heard Anthony speak, for two reasons. One: Anthony was alone, which was unusual, for he and Steve seemed to be joined at the hip. And two: he sounded upset, which was also unusual - Anthony was usually irritatingly cheerful.

Anthony's eyes and nose were red, just like they had been when he'd developed a pot plant allergy, and his eyes were overly bright, as if - no, Reggie told himself, that couldn't be the case. Why would Anthony be crying?

"Hi, Anthony," Reggie replied, concerned. "Are you okay?"

Anthony nodded, but it was clearly a lie: his lip trembled in such a way that Reggie knew he was close to tears.

Confused, Reggie got out of his seat, and wandered over to the younger man, wondering what was wrong. "Do you need to talk to me about something?"

Anthony nodded again, blinking hard. After shutting the door, Reggie turned to face Anthony, trying his best to be non threatening.

"What's wrong, Anthony?" He reached out and carefully touched the younger man's arm.

The moment Reggie's fingers made contact with Anthony's woollen jumper, Anthony seemed to give up on hiding whatever feelings he was experiencing, and he began to cry. It was horrible for Reggie to watch as Anthony's face crumpled, and tears began to leak from his eyes, which were screwed up in embarrassment. He didn't try to stop himself, and knew he wouldn't be able to; now he'd let the tears flow they wouldn't go away.

As Anthony sobbed, Reggie found himself rubbing his back, and muttering things he thought you were supposed to say when someone breaks down in tears in front of you, things like 'there, there' and 'it's okay'. But, if anything, this made Anthony cry louder, and Reggie pulled him into a hug just to muffle the sobs Anthony was making. Anthony liked the security of the cuddle, and pressed his face into Reggie's chest, wrapping his arms so tightly around the older man he nearly broke a rib or five. Reggie retaliated by patting Anthony on the back, maybe a little harder than normal, until Anthony got the message and relaxed his grip.

They stayed in that awkward embrace for what felt like ages, and were still hugging when Jasmine entered the room. For a moment, she thought that they were kissing, and made to make a hasty exit, but quickly realised that Anthony was crying, and Reggie was comforting him.

Reggie noticed her presence, and smiled slightly. Jasmine mouthed 'Is he okay?' and Reggie responded with a shake of his head.

"Anthony?" Jasmine asked, and he jumped, pulling away from Reggie and hastily wiping his nose on the back of his hand. He left a wet patch on Reggie's blue shirt.

Trying his best to smile, Anthony replied with a rather hoarse, "Jasmine." He seemed a lot better after having cried for a while, and now appeared capable of speech.

"Can you tell me why you were crying, Anthony?" She asked, doing an uncanny impression of Sue, the useless Wellness Person. Reggie snorted, and even Anthony chuckled.

Anthony swallowed, looking horribly nervous all of a sudden. "Well," he said, rubbing his sore skin where it had been irritated by his collar. "First of all, how are you two with...homosexuality?" The last word was barely a whisper, and his cheeks flushed the same colour as his bloodshot eyes.

Reggie looked at Jasmine, realising what Anthony was doing: he was checking if they were homophobic to see if he could trust them. Which meant Anthony was gay. But, judging by the looks on their faces, neither Jasmine nor Reggie seemed too shocked by his comment.

Jasmine put her hand on Anthony's shoulder, and said, "I have no problem with who anyone loves, and it doesn't change how I think of anyone, either, Anthony." As she said it, Anthony seemed all set to burst into tears again.

After the quick thought _as long as you don't love me, I don't mind_, Reggie gave his reply. "I'm not into it myself but I'm not going to judge anyone else for being homosexual." Anthony ginned for a few seconds, looking totally relieved.

They sat in silence for a few seconds as Anthony summed up the courage to speak again. When he was, Reggie saw that the younger man's hands were shaking. But Anthony was so worried he just blurted it out, instead of telling the story from the beginning. "I tried to kiss Steve and - "

Reggie gave up on being a listener, and cut him off. "What? When?"

Jasmine shook her head as Anthony bowed his. "Not helpful, Reggie,"

"Earlier, when we were on our break," Anthony continued, his voice shaking as well as his hands. "You know that we're good friends, and are always quite...I guess touchy-feely with each other? Well, he had his arm around me, and had this look on his face like he loved being with me, and I guess I stopped thinking straight and I put my hands on his shoulders and I kissed him on the lips and it felt so nice but then he pushed me away, and he was so angry with me and then he hit me and -"

"Wait a minute, Anthony," Reggie said, as Jasmine tried to calm down Anthony's erratic breathing."You said Steve hit you."

Breathing heavily, Anthony pulled back his wispy fringe and showed Reggie and Jasmine a bruise on the very top of his forehead. "His aim was a bit rubbish, but it bloody hurt."

"Oh, my God," Jasmine said, horrified, and Reggie patted Anthony on the shoulder again, looking like he wanted to cry himself. He couldn't stand it when people deliberately hurt each other.

"Still," Anthony said, sounding like someone trying to make the best of a bad situation. "It hurt less than what he said."

"Why," Reggie pressed. "What did he say?"

Anthony looked at his feet again. "He said it was wrong and his parents told him to stay away from...perverts like me."

"He didn't?" Jasmine gasped.

Anthony nodded sadly. "He did, and then he told me to piss of and get out of his life. So I did." His voice cracked, and a couple of tears dribbled down his damp face. "I hate feeling like this, and yet I sort of feel that I shouldn't have put Steve through that - I was asking for it, really."

"Don't say that Anthony." Jasmine snapped, and, to Reggie's surprise and faint amusement, she sounded rather aggressive. "You trusted your best friend with your sexuality, and he was the one who chose to be homophobic. It wasn't your fault."

Anthony sighed heavily. He seemed lost for words.

Moving to open the door, Reggie moved to open the door. "I guess I better find Steve and -"

"No," Anthony said, terrified. "You can't tell him I told you."

"I won't, Anthony, I promise," Reggie said sincerely. "I'm just going to ask him if he knows why you look so upset, okay?"

"Okay."

"Good," Reggie opened the door and made to go and find Steve. But he didn't need to.

Steve was stood outside the door, listening to everything that had just been said.

Anthony saw him and moved to stand behind Reggie, already beginning to panic. "Oh, shit," he whimpered.

Reggie tried his hardest to seem threatening, and was glad to tower over Steve for once. "What do you have to say for yourself, Steve?"

Steve didn't reply; he strode purposely into the room, grabbed Anthony hard by the shoulders and rammed him into the nearest wall.


End file.
